Moms, what is your inner coach telling you? When I was young, there was a jingle for a perfume commercial that went like this, “I bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man because I am a woman.” It still plays in my mind. How is that for programing a mother’s inner coach?
Subconsciously it programed how I defined being a good mother and wife. When I was balancing it all, I would literally sing the song to myself to celebrate the power of being a wife and mother.
However, that way of being is not sustainable or helpful. It made me feel less than when I couldn’t be all things. Everyone else’s needs came before mine. This often left me with little time for myself.
It wasn’t until I was helping my 10-year-old son learn that it was OK to know what he needed and he could ask for help that things started to change.
I would practice different ways of showing and saying to my son, “You can know what you need and ask for help. Your needs are important.” I made it a daily habit.
What I realized from offering those messages day after day is that my son was not the only one that needed them.
The Developmental Affirmations started to replace the “I can do it all” jingle as my inner coach.
Instead of bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan, I began to hear, “You can be powerful and ask for help at the same time. You can think before you say yes or no and learn from your mistakes and that I am a loveable mother just the way I am.”
This month is dedicated to mothers as we explore our inner coaches and while our needs met.
Which Developmental Affirmation would help you find the balance between your needs, your family’s needs, and community needs?
This morning I felt no joy as my husband and I were sitting in front of the fireplace watching the snow on April 15.
We are ready for warmer weather, our family is not able to be together because of Covid, we just read that we should take down our bird feeders which bring us so much joy because of Avian flu, and we are coming up on the first anniversary of our son’s death.
It was easy to slide down the slippery slope of stinking thinking.
A couple of hours later, photo memories from April 2019 popped up on my phone.
On April 14 we had a snowstorm that dumped 22 inches of snow on us. We had just moved into our new home a couple of weeks prior, and this was the first snow in our new house. It was so exciting! Right down to our first experience living in a townhome where they shovel everything for you, including the front steps!
My son was living with us, and my daughter and her husband decided to spend the storm with us—our first sleepover in the new house. We cozied up around the fireplace I had dreamed about having for so long. It was fun to wake up and cook breakfast on that snowy morning with nowhere to go and family around us.
Today I was reminded about the power of perspective.
The snow was pretty. We need the moisture. The birds have plenty of food in the wild, and I can help them by taking my feeders down. I have some good memories of my son in this house.
Finding joy or being resilient doesn’t mean we don’t feel sad or angry or avoid bad thoughts.
It isn’t something that just happens when things are good. It is something we choose to practice.
To find joy today, I pulled these Affirmations:
If you struggle to find what is good, that’s okay. You can get help by finding a therapist, a friend, a coach, or other inspiration that works for you.
Parent Coach Lisa Krause talks Overindulgence
This morning Lisa Krause, Parent Coach and Family Life Educator, sat down with New Day Northwest to discuss the topic of Overindulgence ahead of her presentation the parenting event put on by non-profit PNW Parent Education.
Krause shares some tips on how to spot overindulgence and the impact it can have on children into adulthood. Click here to read the full article.
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