This morning I was arranging my pillows on my bed and as I stepped back, content with the arrangement. I smiled, and I thought. I wonder if coaching is a little like being an interior designer. You might be scratching your head wondering how I could make the leap. Bear with me for a moment. When it comes to decorating, I know what I like. I am drawn to certain colors and certain styles. I can go shopping and come home with a whole trove of treasures, but then it sits in a pile because I cannot figure out how to pull it together. I rely on my daughter, my go-to interior designer, to come over and help me make it work. That’s what happened with the bed pillows.
Still scratching your head, wondering, “How did Lisa get parent coaching out of that?”
I was unhappy with the way my pillows were arranged. The room was feeling frumpy. I was ready for a change. People look to coaches because something is not working in their lives, and they are ready to make a change.
I had an idea of where I wanted to go with color and style, but I was overwhelmed and could not get it to work. My daughter asked me questions to help me become clearer about what I wanted. Our clients often know where they want to be, it is getting there that is the struggle. As coaches, we use questions to help individuals gain clarity.
My daughter walked through the house and collected blankets and pillows from spaces I already loved. Then we experimented to find the right arrangement and color palette. Coaches help individuals identify times they have worked through a similar challenge or situation to identify strengths. Then they explore ways to use those strengths with the current problem.
Space for Experimenting
I thought I needed new pillows and pillowcases to create the look and feel I wanted. With the help of my daughter, I realized what I had was enough. I just wasn’t arranging them correctly. Clients come to us feeling overwhelmed because they think they need to make big changes. Most of the time they just need a space where they can be curious and experiment as they learn to use old skills in new ways.
Having the pillows arranged in a way that makes me smile has inspired and empowered me to decorate the rest of the room...finally. Whatever was blocking me for the last 5 years is gone. When clients accomplish small goals, it inspires and empowers them to continue to learn and grow.
It is more fun to decorate with someone else. When I call a daughter over to help it is as much about the connection as it is about needing the help. Research suggests that people do their best thinking when they are doing it in relationship with someone else. As a coach, our most important skill is building a trusting connection.
My daughter is not trained designer. She is just someone who loves and cares about me. My invitation to you is to identify the “interior decorators” in your life. Who are the people that help you find clarity, realize your strengths, let you experiment? Who are the people that empower you.
Still, looking for an interior designer?
Contact us for coaching or join a Connection Group.
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