Jack and Diane have come to you about their 3-year-old son, Jonny. Jonny is loving and playful and very strong-willed. Getting him to do anything takes lots of creativity and planning. For example, Jack has learned that playing motorcycle in the bathroom helps move teeth brushing along, and Diane has learned to avoid struggles with snacks and things they don’t want Jonny to have by just keeping them out of sight.
It can be exhausting, and Jack is struggling because kids are supposed to “obey.” Jonny should just do what he’s told without all the parenting acrobatics. Jack thinks they are overindulging.
As parenting experts, there are many ways we can teach about this. Let’s explore how we can use the Affirmations and the Developmental Jobs of the Child to create a safe space for Jack and Diane to expand perspectives, and empathy.
During your session with Jack and Dianne…
Through this exercise, Jack and Diane will have learned that Jonny is doing an excellent job at testing reality and pushing against boundaries. With a bit of help from the coach, they see that both as a strength and challenge.
Jack and Diane decide that “I’m glad you are starting to think for your yourself, and You can say no and push and test limits as much as you need to.” Was a great reminder as parents that Jonny is just learning how the world works.
They also remembered that part of the process is for the child to test and it’s the parents’ job to set and hold the boundaries.
This changed Jack’s heart about Johnny’s behavior. He now understands that Jonny isn’t being difficult. He is just seeing how things work.
Diane’s heart became full of strength because she was reminded that Jonny needs the boundaries and rules to push against to grow.
Did you notice that as a coach, you didn’t really have to teach? You just provided the prompts and the space that allowed for perspective-taking and empathy. Jack and Diane were really the ones that created a plan once you helped them gather perspectives.
Curious about the Developmental Affirmations? Click here to learn more!!
This is a collaborative blog brought to you by the Parent Coach Connection Team and special guests.